Wednesday, April 20, 2011

About childhood and what I miss

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What I miss most is being able to go to bed exactly when I feel like it! I had the best dreams and the best sleep in my childhood. I don't dream these days and sleep is restful enough. But the quality of restfulness is different. Perhaps because we knew so little then and yet, knew what was truly important. Perhaps we knew that the rest of the world will always do it's crazy thing and there is only so much each human can and should do to maintain harmony. Do you remember how it felt? No inner resistance, no inner holds. It was peace as soon as you hit the bed.

I miss not being able to enjoy a slushy for what it is. Even if it is a ton of sugar and preservative. I miss the happy glow a slushy could bestow.

pic credit - Michal Marcol; freedigitalphotos.net
I miss the excitement of a weekend. Even if we did nothing. The thought that there was a day's insurance against the next week. That half day before the two full weekend days was the best. Friday nights rocked! They had me feeling powerful :-) A pizza parlor trip, a new movie or just hanging around was so very special.

I miss waiting for the excitement of my grown up life. The excitement of the mysteries that lay waiting to be unraveled. Where would home be? What would people around me look like? I was so certain that I'd be a millionaire, LOL! It never occurred to me as a child, that any number of things could happen.

I miss believing in the best. Trusting someone's word and moving on knowing things would be well. I suppose we all grow up from that some day!

Miss the surprise lessons. Even if they weren't too pleasant. It hurt but faded as quickly. Running down steep slopes was an adventure that didn't always have to end badly! Miss being taught by people who wanted to share.

pic credit - Idea go; freedigitalphotos.net
Remember those moments when you felt the perfection around you? It could have just been a happy fullness in your heart. The moments that made you want to go and hug someone. I miss those. I think we'd have to remain as spontaneous and as trusting to feel that way again.

Miss the joy of art. The fumbling art that comes from a mind that is a mostly blank canvas, waiting to be filled. Miss the joy of seeing that art. The unchecked joy of a pure spirit.

Miss not needing to look around the corner to find out what was next. Miss not minding if there was nothing next!

Miss being held captive by simple things. A glass of lemonade. A sunset. A song. A story. My parents' words. A color. Even just Tom and Jerry on TV.

Most of all, I miss the calm certainty that life was in order and exactly as it was meant to be.

I hope Mini-Him's memories are pleasant. I can think of nothing more grounding than an untarnished childhood.



pic link 1 - http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=371
pic link 2 - http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=809