Broken Heart Strings

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I love a good, strong, positive story as much as the next person. Story or anecdote or these days, scenes captured on i-phones. What I don't understand is the compulsion across various media to constantly prod our emotions.

"Well, if you want to avoid those stories, don't read them!" Him, my husband, suggests this as a remedy for any complaints that I might have regarding news, news reports, and the general trend of things.

I don't disagree with what he says. One always has the option to not look, not read and stay balanced, and sane. In fact, it is the best remedy of all - to close one's eyes, and mind and parts of one's understanding to the larger issues that we face as a species.

But how can you ignore the "waves of something or the other" that hit you from everywhere? How does one get through the days in these times "seeing" and "hearing" with much more than one's "eyes" and "ears" respectively?

I try not to click on those videos-

Videos that show reunions between people separated by grotesque wars not of their choosing; reunions between army parents and their human/pet children - army parents who serve their country with life and limb, and lose those precious moments the rest of us take for granted because they serve, and children who grow up with pride and dread...only, the fight is growing bigger and the cause is ever more vague.

Videos that show people struggling with the desire to be parents and the painful realities that are hard to accept. Videos that show foster children waiting for acceptance, and parents who make the connection with them.

Then there are the videos detailing abuse, and foster children who don't make it after desperately seeking home somewhere. Videos detailing hapless men and women being shot for being the wrong shade, and law enforcement being harassed and abused because one assumes they're all the same.

Videos detailing dreadful progressions of disease, and the emotional pain of everyone involved.

I haven't even reached the news articles yet. I have only detailed the travails of people in a first world nation. I haven't gone international, and haven't involved the animals and the slow and sure death of the oceans...not the political machinations that destroy lives, reset the course for entire populations etc.

Videos detailing utter terror during an attack, a shooting, a natural calamity.

Videos that churn our collective hearts and stomachs...ours only...but never the ones who perpetuate these miseries on human kind.

I haven't detailed the emotional wounds that many people share on talk shows, the games played toward some ultimately useless end.

I haven't detailed the effects of poverty. Of the poor everywhere who suffer in silence without hope.

We're still talking about a bunch of us who are supposedly not that badly off.

Life is one non stop reality show and our emotions are the responses...the TV ratings, likes, views and shares...are all our emotions running all over the place while we are still required to be calm and centered to "appear sane" for the rest of the world. Perform and excel...and be everything to everyone. While processing unbelievable amounts of daily tragedy, and constantly exposing our raw wounds for more injury.

One must talk about issues, must bring light to the dark places in our collective psyche and expose anything that wants less than the best for our fellow men.

But how do we survive this non stop assault? How do we begin to get anything done beyond "feeling" and "feeling endlessly?" Not a happy feeling alone mind you...a wild, crazy, manic swing from one feeling to the next.

I resent this because it gets in the way of action. I recognize that without these details, some of us might never know what goes down everywhere, and nothing would change or improve.

But show us a documentary...not people in the throes of their greatest sadness, passion, disappointment, or love, or victory.

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Why do I need to see a non stop parade of extremes all day?

Him says, "You don't!"

But that would mean that I am not open to the world, not open to change or open to thought. I want to be a part of the change...

But I can't move with the non-stop assault on my heart every single day. I can only hide behind my screen and write about it, or curl up into a ball, or donate to a cause anonymously, or write stories with intent.

Because if I were to go out there, I am afraid that the hurt I will feel outside will replicate what I feel from passively viewing the tons of hurt through my TV or computer screen.

If one has to be a responsible citizen of this planet, there is no way to stay passive. I can claim that I am an old soul and that I would like to watch the goings on from the sidelines. That makes me feel like a bit of a fraud. Whether I am invested in an outcome or not, I am duty bound as a person who lives on this earth to do what I can to better it. And not cause harm if I can help it.

I also want to gather my inner resources/strength/call it what you will to move forward.

But one needs to heal. Silence would be ideal for this.


Pic credits

1 Photo by Bradley Hook from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/sky-woman-clouds-girl-123335/

Comments



  1. Well written ---all of it strums on our heartstrings until the songs are so familiar we almost forget to feel the sadness and devastation

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Pam. It's all too much these days...love and appreciate what you said about how we forget to feel sadness because it is all a part of what we hear daily.

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